One more day to go. One, single, swift day until I let my story go out into the world. I’m scared. I’m excited. Who am I kidding, I’m terrified. Do I think I’ll fail? Maybe, but not really. I think it’s more about placing this piece of my soul out there for everyone to see. Then again, that’s exactly the point, isn’t it? Taking chances, making gambles, being open and honest; it’s all scary as hell, but it’s that fear, that risk, which makes it all worth it in the end.
Lots has happened in the last few years. I rode the high of approval for a long time, feeling the praise of those closest to me, but then I was plunged into Darkness. The wrong things, said at the right time, words spoken, probably not with the intent to hurt, decisions made, and all that Light vanished, swallowed up by a void so big it seemed like I’d never escape.
I’ve been doing so much more than writing in preparation for this launch. I’ve done art for the first time in years. Years. I buried my skills. Hard won skills, I might add. I never had the luxury of fancy art schools, or the fortune to be surrounded by professionals when I was learning the things I know now. Every inch I gained was, and is, mine, no one else’s, and yeah, I’m proud of that fact. Everyone, everywhere, who has worked hard for what they have should never, ever be afraid to be proud of their gifts, of the results of all that hard work. There’s a huge difference between legitimate pride in one’s efforts and shallow arrogance. Never, never ever forget that fact. Be proud of all that you do.
I have to remind myself of that some times too, so I take joy in reminding you all of that fact as well. Take pride in your efforts. Always.
It’s been cathartic. I’ve let things go, I’ve used them, I’ve fueled a fire that was nearly snuffed out with the very things that tried to do the snuffing. So take it, take it all, the pain, rejections, mockery, whatever it is that you’ve suffered and turn it all into fuel. Make it work for you, instead of against you.
It’s like the song says, “Some times Darkness can show you the Light”.
Burn brightly, my friends. Burn brightly.